Nobody Told Me


Nobody told me


that pinching pimples will leave scars

that tampons hurt

that I can squirt

that hair grows in my arse


that when I get my period I’ll also get the shits

that boobs change size

that so do my thighs

that fanny farts exist!


that the hair I shave off will come back quick

and to make it worse – twice as thick


that my vagina won’t look like those on TV

I’ll have to pick out my in-growns while I wait for my tea


that I won’t look in the mirror

without spinning side to side

and I’ll try to suck in my belly

or spread my shoulders wide


that I’ll sag and I’ll shed and there isn’t a manual

that orgasms from sex are barely annual


that my body will bloat and shrink

like seasons: month by month

that for so long

I’ll think - what’s wrong?


it’s just me

I’m a freak


nobody told me

that they felt it too


that they’re also inside an alien vessel

with oddities


and monsters to wrestle


that really, there’s tonnes of us

a whole UFO fleet


of hairy nipples

and ones that dribble


of mono - tits

and sweaty pits


of stretch marks

of birth marks

and bingo wings too


thigh closes not gaps

and gi-gan-tic flaps!


nobody told me


that when I’ll bleed I will feast


that when I pee there’ll be yeast


that when I fuck it will sting


and that bum fluff’s a thing


nobody told me how to navigate

nobody told me

that it’s impossible to tell anyone else how to navigate

around their body

to not care about weight

to stop waiting for someone’s else’s approval

to approve myself. and my muffins tops too

that life’s too short to not enjoy a fully naked screw


nobody ever told me

so I’m telling you


Miscellaneous, Poetry, AudioStella vK